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Malkmusian

jeff mangum's existential crisis
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AI art

1 min read

i wish deviantART wouldn't allow people to publish AI-generated art it's not just full of stolen assets, it showcases low standards.

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Speed Weed

1 min read
Co-producer
SPEED WEED
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seinchess

7 min read
001. Real Name → Shane
002. Nickname[s]→ Malk
004. Male Or Female → Male
005. Elementary → Annistown
006. Middle school → Shiloh Middle; Cousins Middle
007. High School → Newton High
008. Hair Color → Red-brown
009. Long Or Short → Longish
010. Loud Or Quiet → Quiet to myself, loud to my friends
011. Sweats Or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone Or Camera → Phone. I can Instagram random objects with it.
013. Health Freak →  I need to be. I don't like the way I am.
014. Drink Or Smoke? → Both.
015. Do You Have A Crush On Someone? → Plenty. Some fictional, some IRL.
016. Eat Or Drink? → Eat.
017. Piercings? →   who in the fuck do you think I am? an edgy kid?
018. Tattoos? →   probably just for shits and giggles

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN...?
019. An Airplane → June 2011 to San Francisco. Shaky ride.
020. A Car Accident → A couple of them, to be specific. Both parents.
021. A Fist Fight → I fought myself in real life.

FIRSTS:
022. First Piercing → Nope.
023. First Best Friend → Eric, some dude who went to school and liked Pokemon.
025. First Award → "good job, you passed a test" Applebee's free-meal coupon in 2000
026. First Crush → For real-life crushes, my good friend Sara (theotherther1), but I'd rather not. For fictional crushes, Aelita Schaeffer.
028. First Big Vacation → 2001 to Walt Disney World. Don't remember shit about it.

LASTS:
029. Last Person You Talked To → My roommate.
030. Last Person You Texted → My friends Alex and Adam over a proposed weekend outing.
031. Last Person You Watched A Movie With → Alex, who I saw "American Hustle" with.
032. Last Food You Ate → shitty double cheeseburger from DQ.
033. Last Movie You Watched → Lawrence of Arabia before the siege of Aqaba.
034. Last Song You listened To → "Out of Focus" by Love Battery
035. Last Thing You Bought → said shitty cheeseburger at DQ
036. Last Person You Hugged →  My grandparents

FAVES:
037. Food → Fuddrucker's. Or any place that's not in this gold-capped hellhole.
038. Drinks → Tahiti Treat or good bottled water.
039. Clothing → vintage tees (preferably in-jokey ones) and loose jeans
040. Book → I'd rather read Gravity's Rainbow right now. Or Neuromancer.
041. Music → Anything, but predominantly 1960s to early 2000s rock-based music. Right now, I'm on a Posies and Truly bender.
042. Flower → Forget-me-nots
043. Colors → Primaries. Love it when people abuse them.
044. Movies → Nashville, Sunset Blvd., The Room, End of Evangelion, Enter the Void, Moonrise Kingdom, About Schmidt, The Big Lebowski, Women on the Verge of Nervous Breakdown, etc.
045. Shoes → Chuck Taylors
046. Subjects → History, computer science, music, art, and English.

IN THE PAST YEAR I...
047. [ ] Kissed In The Snow
048. [X] Celebrated Halloween - if celebrating Halloween means "going out and watching 'Gravity' while eating candy," then yes.
049. [X] Had Your Heart Broken - a friend of many friends died in a hit-and-run in December. I'm still broken over that.
050. [x] Went Over The Minutes On Your Cell Phone - does data count
051. [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation - my stepmom thought I was gay because of my undying support for LGBT movements.
052. [x] Came Outta The Closet - I've been more consciously bisexual.
053. [x] Gotten Pregnant - yes, I was made pregnant by me IRL.
054. [x] Had An Abortion - and I stuck a coat hanger inside of me.
055. [x] Done Something You've Regretted - Many.
056. [ ] Broke A Promise
057. [ ] Kept A Secret
058. [x] Pretended To Be Happy - try being happy when your online life's going down the shitter
059. [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life
060. [ ] Pretended To Be Sick
061. [ ] Left The Country
062. [x] Tried Something you normally wouldn't like, and liked it. - I don't like "so-dark-and-edgy" music...and yet I can't stop listening to Joy Division.
063. [ ] Cried Over The Silliest Thing
064. [ ] Ran A Mile
065. [ ] Went To The Beach
066. [x] Stayed Single

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → a love battery
068. Drinking → shitposts
069. Getting Ready To → get some rest
070. Listening To → a cheap fan whining in the background
071. Plans For Tomorrow/Today → Sleep, write more stories
072. Waiting For → Friday

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want Kids? → If I can find the right woman, then yes. I'll give 'em names like Cain, Judas, and Jezebel. You know, make 'em into comic book villains.
074. Want To Get Married? → To be fair, not yet. Not until I find the right woman.
075. Careers in mind → Screenwriter, professional script reader, newspaper movie critic, and/or musician.

WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL?
076. Lips Or Eyes → Eyes. Lips freak me out.
077. Shorter Or Taller? → I love tall girls, they make me feel so good. Same with guys.
078. Romantic Or Spontaneous → Spontaneous. Romantic things make me mad.
079. Nice Stomach Or Nice Arms → yes, I want her to have a perfect set of innards YES I MEAN HER ARMS
080. Sensitive Or Loud → Is there a middle ground?
081. Hookup Or Relationship → The latter. The former seems too shady.
082. Troublemaker Or Hesitant → Troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost Glasses/Contacts → Not really.
084. Ran Away From Home → My brother did in 1999.
085. Held A Weapon, For Self Defense → I have weapons for self-defense at my house. I don't hold them because that'd be stupid. There's no crime in the neighborhood.
086. Killed Somebody → Not IRL, but many video game bosses. Nihilanth, Masked Man/Claus, Brethren Moon, Behemoth, Ripto. I even killed Blasto just to hear him grace death with comedy.
087. Broken Someone's Heart → Sadly, I have broken many hearts because of my bone-headedness.
088. Been Arrested → Almost for skipping out on a fire drill.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → I want to - I really want to - but I don't feel like I can. I'm always lacking something, be it talent or technique or sociability. I've lost friends, made enemies, and created nightmares for myself. It's best that I don't get cocky.
091. Miracles → Magnets, a pelican at Frisco Bay who ate my cell phone, childbirth, people in a concert hall who act as one. Magic everywhere in this bitch PFFFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHA-
092. Love At First Sight → I was like that with those two crushes. Probably shouldn't have been so love-at-first-sight.
093. Heaven → There has to be an afterlife.
094. Santa Claus → is he the same man who gave Caddicarus a bunch of shit with his 2002-era Playstation platformer?
095. Sex On The First Date → jesus are you mad
096. Kiss →  oh god I'm gonna explode

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now? → I don't know. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I made with Sara.
098. Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life? → A deadbeat with no employment who needs to take a couple of extra semesters just to knock-out mindless prerequisite coursework before he can walk onto a film set and say "hey, guys, can I be a production assistant?" You're damn right I'm not happy.
099. Do You Believe In God → in this moment I am euphoric not because of some phony religion's blessing but because of my own belief in complex metaphysics
100. Post As 100 Truths And Tag Five People → no.
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by the way

1 min read
merry christmas

trimmin the chrimbus bush

waiting for winter man
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You win.

1 min read
You win.

There's nothing that I can do about this.

You obviously have the upper hand.

I don't want to deal with this anymore.
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Featured

Speed Weed by Malkmusian, journal

seinchess by Malkmusian, journal

by the way by Malkmusian, journal

You win. by Malkmusian, journal

Goddamn it, Dana. by Malkmusian, journal